“Success”, it is a word we all grew up with and we all want it or even live for it. But studies show only 3 out of 100 people actually succeed in their lives. The reason is simple: we gave up too easily. Although external factors such as resources, family and background make our progress slower, the actual reason is self-sabotage. Where our own habits, fears and thoughts hold us back. Self sabotage can be caused by anxiety, depression or for most of us, Self defeating behaviors.
So in this article we tried to find three self sabotages, how anxiety and depression affect self sabotage. And On top of all, a test of self sabotage and self defeating behaviors.
Types of Self sabotage.
There are many types of Self sabotages, but the most common are three, given below.
1. Behavioral Sabotage
As the name suggests, this type of sabotage is closely attached to our behaviors. For example, if someone wants to become a businessman or dreams of becoming successful in life, his expectations require him to work for it. If he avoids his responsibilities and engages himself in dangerous addictions, this behavior ruins his life and ends up in regrets.
Common signs:
Common signs include Addictions, avoiding responsibilities, and self-destructive relationships, are common examples of behavioral sabotage.
How to Fix it:
To avoid this sabotage, one should stick with his goals, in a disciplined and punctual manner. Avoid unnecessary things and don’t share your thoughts and goals with anyone unnecessary other than your mentors or coach, before achieving them.
2. Emotional Sabotage
Many of us experience this type of sabotage anywhere in our life. It generally happens when we start to doubt ourselves. We lack confidence and often lose opportunities. The other form of emotional sabotage is when we think excessively and unnecessarily, for the outcomes of a particular event, that happened or will happen in our life. This greatly reduces our confidence in ourselves and our skills. People who are victims of emotional sabotage, often criticize themselves.
Common signs:
The fear of missing out, feeling unworthy of success and may engage in toxic self-criticism, are common examples of emotional sabotage.
How to fix it:
To avoid this type of sabotage, one should ask himself, mistakes and failures are common signs of growth. Step out of your comfort zone gradually. Each small success will build your confidence and break the cycle of self-doubt.
3. Mental Sabotage
This type of sabotage is most common in our society. To relate it in our life, I give you a common example. How many times when you started to do something and tell your friend or family about it, and how often they encourage you. When someone says you cannot do anything, unknowingly start finding your limitations. Some people unknowingly set mental limitations for themselves, believing they are not “meant” for success.
Common signs:
The most common signs of mental sabotage are, “The fear of Judgment” and “what others say”. This limits beliefs. And one started to achieve perfectionism.
How to fix it:
The most effective way to reduce mental sabotage, is reframing your mindset. Instead of thinking about what others say, Spend time with people who uplift and inspire you. Avoid negativity and comparison traps.
Depression and self sabotage:
Depression and self sabotage are closely linked. Ones with depression often feel themselves unworthy and unable to grow. Struggle with depression often experiences low self-worth, which causes self-sabotage. And it often leads to depression.
Common signs of Depression and self sabotage:
The most common sign is lack of motivation. If you start feeling unmotivated and afraid of talking with others, you may experience sabotage. Other signs are:
Low Self motivation:
Motivation is the key to success. Highly motivated persons are more likely to achieve their goals as compared to unmotivated ones. Depression drains energy, the low energy makes simple tasks feels more difficult and one can easily give up.
Fear of rejection:
In our modern world, everyone wants to be perfect, thanks to social media. This is the reason many people stops interacting with others due to the fear of rejection, of not being perfect.
Unhealthy activities:
Studies show that the majority of crimes and violations, roots back from challenged family backgrounds and unhealthy activities. Drug abuse, overeating, oversleeping, and overreacting, are caused by depression and self sabotage.
Anxiety and self sabotage:
The fear of failure is anxiety, and due to anxiety to stop taking risks and avoiding responsibilities is self sabotage. For Example: One started a business, he started selling chairs. He met some Clients pitching his product, and faced rejection. For most of us, it raises a question in our minds why I am failing. This leads to comparison with others and results in struggle to achieve perfectionism. And at the end of the day giving up.
This is the reason most of us fail.
How to fix it:
The easiest way of reducing anxiety is stopping comparison with others. Nobody is perfect. If you start perfecting yourself you start being anxious. The other easiest way to reduce anxiety is to stop thinking about others beliefs and expectations, they don’t matter. Be yourself.
What Are Self-Defeating Behaviors? The ways of ruining your life:
How you can ruins your life (What not to do):
Every negative habit that stops you from pursuing your goals are self defeating behaviors. This could be excess use of the internet and social media. Excessive gaming, excessive eating, excessive sleeping, or even excessive thinking. They are all responsible for your failure. Here are the most common self defeating behaviors.
Overcommitment and over expectations:
Agreeing to do impossible and doing nothing but expecting way too much are most common self defeating behaviors. The ones who talk much aren’t able to do anything more.
Avoidance:
When you start avoiding mistakes and responsibilities, the result is not great. Instead one should address these mistakes and improve them.
Perfectionism:
In our modern world it is the most concerning thing to address. Everyone wants to be perfect.This leads to comparison with others and results in struggle to achieve perfectionism. And at the end of the day giving up.
This is the reason most of us fail.
How to overcome self defeating behaviors:
1. Identify the Self-Defeating Behaviors:
Like a good doctor, identify the cause of failure and then try to improve it, instead of trying everything.
2. Understand the Root Causes:
After identifying the defects, don’t just jump in to cure it, think like your own doctor. Why you are doing such things, find the answer and then solve it.
3.Set Realistic Goals:
The easiest way is to set realistic and attainable goals, you need small steps to climb the ladder, in reaching your destination.
Self-Sabotage Test: Are You Sabotaging Yourself?
Take this short test to assess if you are in self-sabotage. Answer YES or NO to the following questions:
1. I often ignore on important tasks.
2. I feel like I’m not perfect in achieving the goal.
3. I feared failure and didn’t want to risk it.
4. I engage in negative self-talk daily.
5. I find myself making excuses instead of taking action.
6. I struggle to accept suggestions from others because I know it.
7. I think about my decision before performing them.
8. I often start projects but stopped them because I need more time.
